Editorial #241: How to Get Along In School Without Getting Beat Up

Autism Politico believes it may have learned how to get along in school without getting beat up.

You see, in most school situations there is an autistic thing to do, and there is a social thing to do. If you are autistic, you need to decide what is worth getting beat up over and what isn’t, and how much pain you stand to endure if you decide to do the autistic thing instead of the social thing.

QUESTION: Some kid needs to borrow a paper, pen or pencil. What do you do?

THE AUTISTIC THING TO DO:  Don’t give them anything! If they aren’t prepared, they cannot do their work, and if they cannot do their work, you stand to get a higher grade than they do. By not giving them anything, you are putting them in the line of fire from the teacher, who will surely reprimand them for not being prepared. By not giving them anything, you are preparing them for the real world, where unprepared people are fired from their jobs.  Whole companies have fallen because people like these infest workplaces like termites infest logs.

THE SOCIAL THING TO DO: Give them what they need. By not giving them anything, the teacher will reprimand you for not being friendly to your fellow student. By not giving them anything, you will be going against the code of the workplace, which is that you carry the weak along with the strong to make yourself look good in front of your boss. Even though whole companies have fallen thanks to people like these, people like these, who have learned to schmooze off of others rather than work for a living, have a habit of climbing up the ladder and hiring people like you. They have learned to climb because they have learned to wheedle people into doing their work for them. You, on the other hand, who actually do the work, get fired by wheedlers because you are a threat to them.

QUESTION: You are taking a quiz, A kid in school wants to copy your answers. What do you do?

THE AUTISTIC THING TO DO: Don’t give them the answers! By not giving them the answers, they may get a lower grade than you, and you have EARNED the grade, so you DESERVE a higher grade. By not giving them the answers, it forces them to ask other kids and risk being caught by the teacher. By not giving them he answers, it forces them to learn the answers for themselves.

THE SOCIAL THING TO DO: Give them the answers. Remember, these people are going to excel up the ladder in the workplace and become your future employers, so you need to give them every boost you can. Further, by now you’ve noticed that teachers harp on you for every little thing -mostly because they don’t like you- but overlook the fact that your question-asker beats the crap out of you nearly every single day on the playground. Do you really think the teacher -who doesn’t want to get involved with your bully’s parents any more than they have to- is going to want to catch your bully when they try to copy your answers? This is the age of social promotion and feel good education, where it doesn’t matter what kind of grades you get as long as you have good self-esteem. No one is going to “catch” your bully trying to cheat, and you stand to get into detention if you nark on your bully.

QUESTION: You see some bully beating up some kid on the playground. What do you do?

THE AUTISTIC THING TO DO: Tell the teacher! You’ve been beat up so you know how bad it feels. Do you really want some other kid to feel as badly as you did when you got beat up?

THE SOCIAL THING TO DO: Look at what the rest of the non-autistic kids are doing. They are yelling “Fight! Fight! Fight!” This is because they know that this is the social thing to do. By joining in, they are held in good esteem by the bully (who will one day be their future employer), and we already know that the teachers do not want to have to talk to the bully’s parents again. So when you go to the teacher, the teacher will tell you not to tattle-tale, and then treat you poorly thereafter because since you told, they MUST get involved.

Autism Politico believes that the autistic way is the way to go, but then, we also notice that most autism advocacy organizations go with the social thing to do, unless they themselves are the victim, and then they cry like babies.

Replies to this editorial are welcome.